Top 25 Ways to Get Kicked out of Your Local Wal-Mart
Posted By Jasper Longfellow on December 25, 2009
It’s all the rage these days to make goofy websites about Wal-Mart, and one of the newest is a list of ways to get yourself kicked out of one. There are hundreds of ways we have thought of to have some fun getting kicked out of your local Wal-Mart; here are ways number 1 through 25!
I would highly suggest that you do not attempt any of these ways to get tossed out of any store! Most of these tips will get you arrested for destruction of property, vandalism or even theft; or just are bad enough that you SHOULD NOT do them for real.
If you attempt any of the items listed below, you do so at your own risk!
1. Take someone's shopping cart and switch the items with stuff from the person next to them's cart
2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, “Hi! I haven’t seen you in so long!…” etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment
3. Bonk a stranger (gently!) with a big hunk of ham
4. Go up to some old geezer & say “Grandpa!!! You are actually alive!!! It’s a MIRACLE!!!” etc.
5. Take something from someone else’s cart, when they say “hey, that’s mine!" call for security and tell them the other person was going to take your …
6. Move “Caution: Wet Floor” signs to carpeted areas.
7. Hide inside one of those big round clothes racks and jump out at people yelling “BOO!!!”
8. Go into the dressing room, wait a few minutes, then yell “THERES NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!”
9. Get a batman costume, put it on, and run around the store screaming at the top of your lungs, “COME ROBIN! TO THE BATMOBILE!”
10. Hide between clothing and then jump out and yell “PICK ME”
11. When an employee asks if they can help you, start sobbing and ask them “Why can’t you just leave me alone?”
12. Block the toy isle with a huge battle of G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men
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13. Hide in a clothes circle. When someone with a shopping cart goes by stick your hand out and steal something from them
14. Grab a guitar and start singing Wake Me Up When September Ends in a loud shrieking half screaming voice
15. Grab an armful of bags of candy and dump them into other peoples carts
16. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
17. Go up to an employee and in a official tone say “code three in house ware” and see what happens
18. Randomly shadow people as they walk around the store staying just a few feet behind them. Keep doing it till they take off to get away from you
19. Challenge other customers to sword duels with tubes of gift wrap
20. Set up a concert of singing hamster dolls. Get your friends and turn them on all at the same time. Then act like a conductor
21. Ask various employees for non-existant items or made up products, i.e., “Do you have any Shnerples here?”
22. Open packs of yugioh cards and challenge random people to a duel!
23. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation
24. Hide a walkie-talkie behind a doll and when people walk by make it say “I know where you live…”
25. Attempt to drown yourself in a kiddy pool…
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We hope you laugh like we did creating the list! This is for entertainment purposes only, NEVER do anything on this list for real.